I could succumb to my heartbreak over the loss of a relationship, or I could remember that nothing can ever be regretted completely. I've learned wonderful lessons about myself.
I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought. Just because I think someone is the man of my dreams, doesn't mean I'm willing to settle for letting him treat me less than how I deserve to be treated. There are plenty of great men out there who would be happy to give me what I need, who may even be better suited for me.
I've learned that everyone is flawed and even I have my limits in what I will accept within a relationship, no matter how much I want to be with a person.
I've learned my friend has yet to face the reality that he is no longer in a relationship with his ex. Until he faces that, and allows himself to feel the hurt, the pain, he will never be able to move on. He's in a rut, and until he takes the steps to get out of it, I just can't be there for him. I have to take care of myself right now.
I could freak out over the loss of a job. But I won't. I finally have time to figure out what I really want out of life. I still don't know what that is. I have a lot of dreams. I just have to figure out how to manifest them.
I have time to paint.
I have time to write.
I have something to write about now.
Agh, my lovely, little, artiste! May you paint until your hair is permeated with mineral spirits, your hands covered in various hues, and your soul floats on euphoric understanding. May you write until your fingers cramp and the characters dance upon the page. May you fall asleep at night satisfied that the muses have partook of their fill. And may you always know that I love you.
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