Where do I go from here?

There are so many opportunities that spread out before me. There are so many roads to go down. How can I possibly choose?

I find myself standing at a crossroads. Several in fact:

-Do I continue with the job I have, one that makes me unhappy, or do I find something temporary and go back to school?

-Do I stay here in Georgia or do I move in with friends in Florida?

-Should I hope for a potential relationship with a friend or walk away for good?

-Should I pursue a career or a personal life? A passion? A love?

The choices seem endless. I don't know where God will lead me or what I will be doing a year from now, but I do know I don't want to spend another moment feeling like I'm not living life to the fullest.

So I'm letting go.

I'm choosing to trust God to take me down the paths he has for me and believe that I'll get to where I'm going when the time is right. In the meantime, I'm not going to worry myself into being miserable.

Instead, I'm going to focus on finding happiness in my present circumstances.

Let me be clear: letting go does not mean walking away. Letting go means continuing to hope and dream, but surrendering what you want the outcome to be and trusting that it will be what you need.

I'm saying no to the the negative and I'm opening myself up to Love. Love of life, love of beauty, love of now. What will be, will be. In the mean time, I'm focusing on me.

Unconditional Can Only Go So Far

There's a difference between waiting on someone and being a doormat.

As much as I want to wait for this particular guy and believe that he's going to wake up one day and realize I'm the girl he's been looking for, I'm not willing to compromise myself to do it.

I will not waste my life sitting around being at this guy's beck and call. He's confused and doesn't know what he wants. That behavior in and of itself has made it perfectly clear to me that I am not one of the things he wants at the moment. If I were, he wouldn't be confused.

That said, I will not put my life on hold for something that may never happen.

I want to see the world, I want to find new and exciting ways to express myself, I want to rediscover my creativity, I want to do everything I can to pursue a fulfilling life where I am perfectly content to be myself by myself.

I'm not going to be here for you when you only reach out to me when you're bored or lonely. I'm worth more than that. I deserve a man who is going to see me for the wonderful, amazing, beautiful woman I am and who's going to give me everything I need.

I want it all or nothing at all. I will not settle for anything in between.